CLARITY

Sometimes life just kind of sucks. And in my experience it starts out of no where, unexpected, unplanned, and at the worse times. Like two weeks before Christmas.

Not to bog you down with the deets but basically my car had to go in the shop for what I thought was going to be pretty routine work, turned out to be waaaaaay more than routine and is still not completely fixed. On top of which, Nate and I were getting ready to commit to buying him a new car. So now there might be two new cars in our future and that commitment scares me. I loathe making huge purchases. They make me uncomfortable and I worry a lot. 

And then it all happens right when Christmas rolls around, so my mind had been on purchasing fun Christmas gifts, not car repairs. So I had a pout party most of the weekend. Naturally.

So here I am: worrying, fretting, feeling angry, feeling heavy, sad... aka pathetic.

And it is at times like these that I think about how horrible I have been at positive thinking through this whole situation. Car maintenance happens, so instead of being grumpy about what is already done I should be focusing my energy on how I can make the future situations better. Even if just adjusting my attitude towards situations when they arise.

So I found my clarity this weekend- I was so mad about the car but I decided that I didn't want to be mad. I could change the fact that I was mad. I had the power and strength inside myself not to be mad. And I did. I resolved to end the pity party and I got up and danced. Literally. Impromptu dance parties fix the worst of moods. I even got N to join in. Then we made a huge pot of chili, had a glass of wine, watched Home Alone, and practiced handstands (and I have the bruises to prove it, and those were pre-wine ;))

In the wise words of the gang on Its Always Sunny ...  life will blast you in the @$$. What makes the difference is how you handle those situations. Did you stay positive? Did you hold your head high and make it through? Can you look back and feel good about your thoughts and actions?

I am learning that none of the changes in my attitude are easy- far from it. But little by little I notice differences, and little by little life is becoming easier to navigate. I am not happy with myself for my initial reaction to last week. But I am really happy that I recognized and acknowledged how I felt and said enough!

This week I am practicing to act the way I want to feel- a concept I learned from the Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. Such a great mentality that has already made my Monday a bit brighter. I have faith that this week will, no matter what, be a more positive one! ♥